Crying Out Loud for the Love of the Game
Head Coach Bernadette Laukaitis: Crying Out Loud for the Love of the Game
Blood, sweat, tears. In the case of Holy Family University Head Women’s Bas-ketball Coach and Assistant Athletic Director Bernadette Laukaitis ‘00, the emphasis is most definitely on the latter. Laukaitis has shed many a tear because of basketball. Tears of handling a tough loss and dealing with adversity, for sure, but mostly it is the tears of joy and elation, of pride in her players and her program, and the sheer mention of Holy Family University that will cause her to well up.
“Bern’s biggest strength, by far, is that she really cares about her kids on and off the court,” University of Pennsyl- vania Head Women’s Basket- ball Coach Mike McLauhglin ’91 said. “She is a player’s coach. She has true relation- ships with people.”
McLaughlin should know. He coached both Bernadette and her older sister, Tricia Nichols ‘98 M’11, at Holy Fami- ly, brought her on to his coach- ing staff when she graduated and took her to the Palestra and the Ivy League for 10 years when he moved to the Division 1 level at Penn, where he is still coaching. She is the sixth head coach in program history.
“Bern and I, literally, have traveled the world together and have recruited across the country,” he said. ”We have an unbelievably close and unique connection, as do our families. Who Bern is now is just an older version of who she was a player. She is constantly trying to achieve the next level in terms of preparation, care, and effort. It is super gratifying to watch my former athlete and assistant coach, now a head coach and a mom, succeed because she has earned it, and she deserves it.”
“I just lost it when Mike invited me to join his coaching staff,” Laukaitis said. “He has challenged me throughout my career. Getting to coach along- side him at Holy Family, then going to the Big Five and The Palestra (where she was a part of four Ivy League Champion- ships), is everything that every little girl loving basketball and growing up in Philadelphia dreams of. “
But truly, Holy Family has always been Laukaitis’ home. After a one-year head coaching stint at Division III Cabrini University in 2008-09, a door opened at Holy Family.
“I said to my husband, Joe, ‘I really think this is it. That’s my job. No one is getting it from me.’ I prayed for a sign from God, because I was seriously thinking of getting out of coaching. I was so torn with missing my family, and with my kids (son, Joey, now 16 and daughter, Kasey, almost 13) getting more involved in sports and activities themselves, I was missing so much, and my poor husband was running around doing everything. I was crying every night. It became a work- life balance thing that really opened my eyes in so many ways.”
And then God opened the door most familiar to her, and Laukaitis came home to Holy Family. The impact was imme- diate. In her first season, the Tigers appeared in the Central Atlantic Collegiate Conference (CACC) Championship game. Last season, HFU advanced to the CACC Tournament Semi- finals for the second time in three years, finishing with a 20-10 record. This year, the Tigers were stopped in the semifinals and ended 21-9.
“Coming back to Holy Family has allowed me to con- tinue to do something I love in a place that I love with the people I love, while still giving me time with my own family,” she said. “I have so much love for all of my coaches (including former assistants Carolyne Heston ‘14, Sheala Belte ’10, Jacqui Thompson and Chris- tine Verrelle) who helped me, along with many alumni, build the foundation of this program. I feel so blessed to be able to give back to this place that has given me so much. I have learned that I have a lot more to give than I thought. I get a chance, almost 25 years later, to say, ‘I’m doing this. I am living my passion’.”
Witnessing that Laukaitis passion in action, in front of a bleacher full of devoted family and friends, is truly a privilege. She has instilled a “we over me” mentality in her squads, a true sense of pride for the jersey that they wear, a standard of conduct, and an expectation of success. Beyond the x’s and o’s, she invests in her student-ath- letes’ personal development off the court and forges relation- ships and connections and lasting friendships based on mutual respect and a love of the game that brought them together.
“I have been blessed with great girls who have bought in wholeheartedly to doing things the right way, who check their attitudes at the door, who don’t make excuses, who put in the work and are resilient and do everything we ask them to do. They bring out the best in me and our coach- ing staff which is why I want them to be satisfied with their playing career and their aca- demics. We want the best for them in every aspect of their lives, because it’s not four years that will connect them to Holy Family, but 40 years on a professional path that began here. As much as we want to win a championship and experience the elation that comes with it, it is still amazing to say, yes- you did it the right way; yes- you are graduating; yes - you are going to be an amazing alumnae of this incredible University. I live for those days.”
Like the blood and sweat that got her there, Laukaitis yearns for the day when she, along with current assistant coaches (brother-in-law Mike Nichols ‘98, Lindsay Alexander and Anjelai Hayes ’21, M’23), can hoist her first champion- ship trophy at her alma mater and watch Holy Family’s name appear on the NCAA bracket for postseason play.
Crying? Absolutely! If that full-circle moment doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, nothing will.